Thursday, May 27, 2010

Political Discourse of the Lunatic Fringe: Detestable and...Hilarious?

Politico published a sorta disturbing little article this week claiming that threats made on the lives of members of Congress have increased 300% so far this year.  Sigh.  My first reaction is to question what would lead someone to think it's okay to threaten a politician and/or their family like that.  I can sympathize with disagreeing with a politician's views or votes or whatever.  But what went wrong in your head that made you think that killing them would be an answer?  I don't know for a fact, but I feel safe in assuming that the vast majority of people of all political stripes are repulsed by such actions.  Who are these creeps?  Well, according to the article, they veer from the comically bungling Black Widow biker gang-types, to the significantly more psychotic Max Cady-types.   First, from the article, the bunglers:

FBI agents tracked the calls to a 54-year-old Texas man who lived alone — and who at one time had owned a 20-gun arsenal of handguns, shotguns and rifles. According to the documents, he told officers that he was “really, really drunk” when he made the calls. He said he was just “venting” — taking out his frustrations after hearing a discussion of the Fairness Doctrine and becoming concerned that the government would attempt to abolish the radio shows of Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh.
Damn that Fairness Doctrine!  I'mma kill me some politicians fer that crap!  Guvmint ain't gonna take my Rush.  He's just speakin' too much truth, man.  Fightin' socializm and stuff.  Where's my Pabst?  Guvmint sucks y'all.  Hey, doesn't SSI come today?  I'mma get paid and buy me some ammunition 'fore Hussein Obama takes it.  Communizm sucks too, don't it?  Yeah.

That may be true, communism does suck, but at least under communism you'd have a job, inefficient though it may be.

Then there are the true psychopaths who are unsafe to anybody:

"I voted for you,” the caller said in a voice mail to Democratic Rep. Heath Shuler’s district office. “If you vote for that stimulus package, I’m gonna kill you. Simple as that.”

The FBI says the caller was a 70-year-old resident of Shuler’s North Carolina district with a history of mental illness and a cache of guns. In the weeks before calling Shuler’s office, the FBI says, the caller beat and choked his wife. She told the FBI that she’d tried to clear her home of guns — and that she went to bed at night with a can of mace tucked under her pillow.

When agents showed up at the man’s door, they asked him why he’d threatened to kill Shuler.

“I was trying to work the political scene,” he said.
At some point in a person's development, it must become evident that s/he is dealing with a dome full of bad brains.  Couldn't we try to catch these folks early, before they procreate, and get them out of the gene pool?  I'm not advocating euthanizing them or anything like that.  More like, since they seem to  prefer acting like animals, we could strip them naked and drop them in the middle of the serengeti.  Or we could put them to work doing something useful.  We'd let them keep their tinfoil hats, but we could strap solar panels to their backs and set them loose in the Nevada wild.  Give them AM radios and beam Rush's program to them through a drone that flies circles overhead so they have to just walk in circles to hear His Corpulence bloviate all day.  And then we could set up wind turbines in Rush's studio.  Between those two alternative energy sources, we could power the western United States for the first six months of the year. 

1 comment:

  1. If, heaven forbid, I am ever arrested for anything, I commit here and now to announce "I was trying to work the political scene." Totally awesome.

    Naked and screaming in the steps of the local Ruby Tuesday? Tryin' to work the political scene. Attempting to rob a bank with a sword? Trying to work the political scene. Best explanation ever. It works for everything; it really does.

    ReplyDelete

I find the puniness of your thoughts entertaining. Leave them here.