I've left this blog cold for too long. Truth be told, I've had some things going on that have absolutely robbed me of my inspiration. Particularly, writing grad school essays. Nothing chases my muse from me quite like pretending to have goals. Trying to write seriously about "accomplishments" and "ability to lead" is just a half-step above massaging grandma's feet in terms of motivational activities. But I wanted to write about a few things I took away from conversations over the Christmas break before I get too far into 2010.
Item #1: Married friends. For years I've watched as my high school friends get married. And now I watch as those who I've replaced/supplemented them with get married. It's funny to talk to married friends, both male and female, and hear the differences in their answers to the question "So what's marriage really like?" The portrayal by female friends is pretty universally gushing, and to hear them tell it, they can't imagine how life could get any better. The words of my guy friends arrive like dispatches from the sage who has reached the mountain top, and finds the view spectacular, but the air thin. The reports are similar, but the men's comments often betray more of an awareness of the tradeoffs they've made in order to pursue marriage. Not sure to what I should attribute this. Are the men more open about things because they're sharing the information with another man (long live locker room talk!)? Are women just deceptive by nature (I give it 2:1 odds)? I don't know the answer. But in one area, namely raising their first child, men and women seem to offer the same report: a lot more difficult than anticipated, but definitely worth it. Men or women, it's fun to see my friends taking those next steps in life. Grateful when they can make time to hang out with me.
Item #2: Travis sounds sad. My sister reported to me that my writing seems to have an undercurrent of sadness. Hm. This information didn't upset me or anything like that. It just caught me a bit off-guard. When I'm writing or developing ideas for new photoshops or cooking up new adventures to take, I am having a lot of fun. I feel like if anything, I derive too much amusement from my ramblings here, to the point that my job becomes even more boring. I admit to there being an underlying frustration in some of my writings. That's me publicly battling with the fact that life isn't what I thought it would be. Big shocker. Not exactly a Thomas Edison original idea there. But sad? Am I reading the same posts? Maybe she knows something about me that I don't. Or maybe it's my activities and amusements that she finds sad and lame. To which I say fair enough.
Item #3: Ghost of girlfriend past. I dated a girl for about nine months my senior year of college. She left a powerful imprint in my psyche for a long time after we broke up. She was the first girl of my adult life that I bothered to bring home to meet the family. This apparently left a deep impression on my mother's mind as well. To the point that every time I show my mother a picture of a girl I'm dating or considering dating, she narrows her eyes and says, "Looks like Shiloh." Shi was cute-ish, but I didn't think she was distinctive looking enough to merit this kind of long-term scarring. Anyway, it's almost a Pavlovian response now. I could be dating Christina Milian and mom would think she looks like Shiloh. It's kind of cute in a way. But maybe I should start dating blondes to help her make the break.
Looking ahead in 2010, let's resolve to have some fun together this year. I appreciate the questions for The Humungus' mailbag. Don't hate me for not responding to your questions. I'm working to get responses written soon. I hope to find some fun adventures to chase and races to run this year. I hope my reporting on said adventures won't make any of you sad and/or depressed. But I can't promise anything.
