And Now For the Most Boring Two Weeks in Sports

The winter olympics are finally upon us.  The time has arrived when we find out if the Canadians' rigging of practice schedules can save them from complete embarrassment in front of the whole world (probably not.)  Some people will be riveted by the round-the-clock coverage planned by NBC.  I am not one of those people.  The olympics bore me.  I don't care about ice dancing or ski jumping.  During the Salt Lake City olympics when I was driving the Russian team's VP, he made me go to the cross country skiing events nearly every day.  On those days, I often dreamt of wandering onto the biathlon rifle range so one of the athletes would put me out of my misery.  The only winter olympic sport I am interested in is hockey. 

Don't get me wrong, the summer olympics are a snoozefest as well.  But there is one reason that the winter games are superior to the summer games:  personalities.  I'm not talking about the ice queens of the figure skating world, men's or women's. I'm talking about the wonderfully stoned-out quotes from the snowboarding teams.  So far this year, my favorite comes from Graham Watanabe.  When asked what it feels like to be on the olympic team, he gave the money quote of the year:

"Try to imagine Pegasus mating with a unicorn and the creature that they birth. I somehow tame it and ride it into the sky in the clouds and sunshine and rainbows. That’s what it feels like."
  
Wow.  I mean.  Wow.  Because that's exactly how I imagined it would feel.  I am pulling for Graham to win some kind of medal so we can get more reactions like this.  But I get the feeling that all The Dude wants is his rug back.  That rug really tied the room together. 

Quick, Pegacorn!  To the half pipe!