Humungus Counsels Fellow Alpha

Dear Released-

Good question, if you are starting from the assumption that this system of abundant resources will continue in perpetuity.  But Humungus readers know better.  And you can be sure that those women aren't operating on any such assumption. 

You see, most women have a sixth sense about these things, so they can feel the looming collapse. This would be a useful attribute if they weren't also tragically handicapped by the most female of traits: Caring.  They recognize that the days of scarcity are nearing and they worry about the survival of their young.  These bastards are the product of beta-male seed, and their survival is highly unlikely when staring into the teeth of the superior whelps that you will eventually sire. And yet, as they look upon their inferior progeny, these women are still burdened by the caring emotion, and perhaps a little guilt at having spent their days coupling with feral betas. 

Now when Woman realizes her folly, she tries to change her trajectory by changing horses.  She is in search of a warrior, the streetwise Hercules of Bonnie Tyler's dreams.  It is an educated bet on her own survival.  Her lamentations have triggered memories long buried under a dung heap of mediocre men and offspring.  Now she wants to raise warrior whelps born of true warrior seed.  At some point in your relationship, she smelled something Alpha about you.  Again, sixth sense; whether she's conscious she's doing it or not, even from a young age, she is collecting scraps of behavioral cues on men and filing them away in descending levels of utility/usefulness.  Scraps of you in her files pointed to better than average utility.  That's when she contacted you and proceeded to stroke your ego.  It's easy to be flattered by such advances.  Don't.  It is likely a trap.

You see, for as much of a handicap as caring and emotion are for Woman, she has learned to counteract her weak nature by being exceptionally deceptive and manipulative.  Woman never stops playing the numbers game.  Who knows how many alpha files she has tucked away in her memories?  How many men has she said the same thing to?  The irony is that the man who falls for her chicanery will be the least alpha of all. 

Pre-Apocalypse Man has long swallowed the deceptions of Woman; this has not changed since the days of Adam.  But we are far beyond paradise already, and as we learned from Seeing Dead People's letter about defective humans, we must start practicing apocalypse thinking now.  Post-Apocalypse Man can't afford to carry the weight of questionable loyalty.  So here's the lesson in all of this:  Always be very suspicious of any woman that flatters you.  You may be every bit the alpha that she says, but her need for your Man Skills is selfish in nature, and she will manipulate you.

As there is no getting around Woman's cunning nature, you must seek out traits in your woman that will add positive value to life after the collapse of civilization.  If she must be cunning, make sure she is loyal, so that she will be sure to use her skills of deception against others, to your ultimate gain.  Also, look for a woman with strong legs, strong hands and a strong back for carrying water and supplies.  The last thing you need is a woman incapable of carrying more than a dog in a purse.  I would expect nothing less of a good Alpha.