Zebra Cake, you wizardly beast.
Half sugar, half crème, all magical feast.
Are you white with black stripes, or white stripes on black?
My eyes see all rainbows when I make you my snack.
My fat cells all squeal with porcine delight.
You’re just what they’d wish for, were Christmas tonight.
I’d blend you, inject you, right into my vein.
But my taste buds and stomach all beg me refrain.
Your waxy, white frosting, no mere flavor dam.
Twirling black ribbons, more seductive than ham.
You beckon me near, my heart starts to race.
There’s rarely such joy, as in your embrace.
The pleasure you bring me is fleeting, yet fun.
But now I must leave you to go for a run.
Now lacing my sneakers, the penance is near.
Alas, you can't stay there, parked in my rear.
Half sugar, half crème, all magical feast.
Are you white with black stripes, or white stripes on black?
My eyes see all rainbows when I make you my snack.
My fat cells all squeal with porcine delight.
You’re just what they’d wish for, were Christmas tonight.
I’d blend you, inject you, right into my vein.
But my taste buds and stomach all beg me refrain.
Your waxy, white frosting, no mere flavor dam.
Twirling black ribbons, more seductive than ham.
You beckon me near, my heart starts to race.
There’s rarely such joy, as in your embrace.
The pleasure you bring me is fleeting, yet fun.
But now I must leave you to go for a run.
Now lacing my sneakers, the penance is near.
Alas, you can't stay there, parked in my rear.
You must love zebra cakes as much as I love cupcakes or butter or bacon. The only thing missing from zebra cakes is a healthy dose of nitrates. Oh well, you can't have everything.
ReplyDeleteWe were at your parents house last night for a corn fest. There were no zebra cakes there. The fun never ends!!!!
Rub it in. Cornfest at Casa de Gouldings, and I didn't even receive a courtesy phone call. Heads will roll.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure Troy was hiding some Zebra Cakes somewhere.
Also, while I'm thinking about it, cupcakes and bacon and butter are all good things, but not much use when the apocalypse comes. They spoil. Zebra Cakes, on the other hand, will have you seeing rainbows and singing Stevie Wonder songs until fire from heaven devours the last soldier of Magog.
ReplyDeleteI do love bacon, though. Wish we could take it with us.
Question? Zebra Cake, or the gem of Russia? You know the ice cream, covered in chocolate with a thin layer of caramel? On a hot pouty day with devushki in mesh tops and nothing to look forward to, except the thought of going home with another man...
ReplyDeleteI think I preferred the haiku.
ReplyDelete